I love reading, but I’ve got to be honest… it is HARD. I often mix up my letters and words, I misread and mispronounce words, I jump back and forth all over the page, I misunderstand things and sometimes no matter how hard I try I just cannot comprehend things at all. All of these challenges make it really difficult for me to read and slows me down to the speed of a sloth. Also, just to further complicate things, my autism creates difficulty with my imagination as I have a very black & white and literal way of thinking, so I often struggle with reading fiction as I struggle to envision things that I have not seen in reality.
Now, enter the contradiction of my brain… I have an incredibly creative mind with a remarkably adventurous imagination that yearns to explore the depths of other worlds and learn about other lives. I mostly do this by diving into the realm of film and TV and listening to podcasts, but I also love to do this by burying myself deep into the pages of books.
I love stories. I love learning about lives and worlds that aren’t my own. I love learning about different experiences and perspectives, especially if there is an element of relatability with a similarly lived experience from a different perspective. I love the art within them, the truth behind them, and the lore that builds them. I just love stories.
And there lies the paradox: reading is hard, but I love it. I am a dyslexic bibliophile. My deep love of storytelling and desire to explore other worlds and lives outweigh the difficulties that my dyslexia (and overall neurodivergence, for that matter) presents with reading.
I let my dyslexia get the best of me and abandoned my reading hobby for years. I truly believed that it wasn’t for me because I just wasn’t good at it, and I couldn’t keep up with everyone else, but I have come to realise that it isn’t about the time it takes to read a book; it is about the time that I share with the people within the pages, appreciating the privilege and intimacy of learning their story, and above all else, my personal enjoyment of reading the book.
It might take me longer than others to read a book, taking a couple of months to get through the same book that others can finish within days, but now I know that my brain is wired differently and I process information at a different rate, I have been a lot more compassionate toward myself. I now allow myself time to read at my own pace, and I am really enjoying reading again. I have also accepted that audiobooks and dictation tools are not a failure or a cheat; they are an asset to my library that help me consume more of the stories that I love.
Reading might be hard for me, but I love it, and the challenges I face are no match for the desire to explore other worlds and learn the stories of others. So, here’s to re-embracing my reading hobby and never looking back.
With love,
MuffinBear xx
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